House Rules! Set Expectations NOW to Ensure a Sane Summer

by Mikey Keating Smith, M. Ed

Summer is almost here, and with it may come the urge to throw rigid routines out the window. Research (and experience) shows, though, that most kids thrive when they have clear expectations and routines, even in the summer months. Parent Ellen Dunlap used to greet each summer vacation with mixed feelings. On the one hand, she was excited to be free of the grind of the school year and able to spend more relaxed, quality time with her son, Ryan. On the other hand, however, she dreaded the onset of Ryan’s summer ‘personality shift.’ “After 3 or 4 days I started to see that he was short-tempered and grumpy,” Ellen says. “Most of his responses had an underlying tone of annoyance and he appeared to look and feel frustrated and uncomfortable.”

As her son got older, the pattern of behavior continued. Each year after the initial excitement about the summer break wore off, her son’s personality would abruptly change. His increasingly surly behavior put a damper on summer fun for everyone in the household. Then, she says, she had an ‘aha moment’: “It took me a little while to figure out the root of his frustration. Although he will argue otherwise, my son really craves the comfort that structure brings.”

Ryan is not alone. Experts agree that while children and adolescents do benefit from the downtime the summer brings, downtime should be balanced with structured activities and clear expectations. While some children do fine without a set schedule, many others struggle with the excessive free time and lack of routine the summer break often brings with it. Otherwise happy and well-adjusted kids might begin acting defiant and downright rude, and you might notice arguments increasing among siblings. Kids with too much downtime also may experiment with risky behaviors and wind up getting into trouble both at home and with friends. 

Summer Reading. . . For PARENTS! by Mikey Keating Smith, M. Ed

On the last day of school, the one item in many kids’ backpacks is the dreaded summer homework packet. More and more schools are hoping to fight summer slide by assigning kids reading and math work over the summer, and usually several books to be read. What about parents, though? What better way to encourage our kids to be lifelong learners than by setting a positive example by taking on some summer reading ourselves?

Since summer tends to be a bit less stressful than the jam-packed school year, it’s a great time to pick up a new book. You can take one on vacation, suggest one for your book club, or, even better, read one as a family. This summer, though, how about making that book one that can help you better understand your child and the world he or she inhabits? There are hundreds of books on parenting and adolescents, but because everyone’s time is precious, below is a sampling of well-reviewed books on a variety of topics. Hopefully one will make your summer reading list!

Summer Slide by Mikey Smith, M. Ed

Each year around the end of May, the school year ends and a countdown of sorts begins as parents wait for their children to utter those two little words: “I’m BORED!” While it can be annoying to hear your child complain about boredom incessantly, enrolling him or her in some sort of summer program or camp might not only save your sanity, it could also help your child avoid something researchers have termed “Summer Slide.” 

Although it sounds like a cool ride at a water park, Summer Slide is no fun at all -- the term refers to the learning loss the average student suffers each summer. Research shows that many students, particularly those not involved in some sort of engaging, constructive summer activity, start the next school year a month behind where they should be. For students who are on grade level, the idea of losing a month or more of learning is alarming, but for those students who might not be performing at grade level in the first place, Summer Slide can be catastrophic.  As students get older, the subject material covered in every subject each school year becomes more and more complex, making it harder and harder to re-learn topics at the beginning of each year. Moreover, many concepts build on one another because courses are vertically aligned, meaning that if a student lacks the basic concepts, it is impossible for them to move forward in their learning. 

While Summer Slide clearly affects individual students each year, teachers also suffer the consequences as they must start each new school year not with new material, but with in-depth reviews of material that was learned the prior year. Bertha Bishop, who teaches multiple grade levels, has a unique perspective on Summer Slide. Since she teaches Spanish to students in many different grades, she is able to chart the progress of students from one year to the next. She also knows exactly what she teaches from year to year, and where students should be upon entering the next grade level. In her experience, however, most students do not start the year ready for new material, and Bishop, like most teachers, must review for the first few weeks of school. 

Test Anxiety- How to Help Your Student Cope by Mikey Smith, M. Ed

It's human nature to feel nervous and stressed out before a test, especially a high-stakes test that might determine whether or not you get into a program or a school or get a certain grade. Just about everyone knows the feeling of having butterflies in the stomach before a big test.

For some students, though, stress brought on by testing goes far further than simple nervous stomach and sweaty palms. An estimated 20% -- 30% of students have 'test anxiety,' which can manifest in a variety of ways. Some students get physically ill before tests, experiencing symptoms like dry mouth, rapid heart beat, and even vomiting or fainting. Others might not really feel ill, but might fabricate illnesses or other conditions to avoid a stressful situation altogether. A third group of students simply freeze up when required to take tests, seemingly forgetting all information they have learned in preparation for the exam. 

I was a member of the last group of students for most of my academic life. Although I did not become physically ill when faced with a testing scenario, on math tests I would completely freeze up, even though I always studied and could do the homework. It was like I had never seen the material before. My grades suffered, and so did my confidence. My teachers (and parents) were mystified by my behavior, until one teacher named it: test anxiety. This teacher devoted hours of her own time to helping me, even writing entire math tests on the chalkboards in her room and having me work each problem as she scrutinized each step to see where I was making mistakes.